So for those of you who have been following any African news, you probably already know that there were three grenade attacks in Kigali on Friday night. One person was killed and I think about 18 injured. There are rumours coming from everywhere as to who is responsible for them, why they were don etc. I think the overwhelming majority is saying that it is due to the upcoming elections and a threat to any opposition coming from the current government. I don't think that the public will ever really know though.
You may also have heard about the random breakouts of fighting between the Hutus and the Tutsis that have been happening occasionally out in the very rural countryside. Although there is no sign of segregation between the two groups here, changing a mindset often takes a very long time to reach the outskirts of any area, and as a result, the discrimination between the two groups is still happening sporadically.
Although hearing about this type of thing does appear to be very scary and threatening, you have to put it into context with the rest of the world. Think about the constant gang violence that is n LA or even Boston. Think about any news channel you switch onto, the first thing you hear about is car bombs, or murders, or shootings, or terrorist warnings. Rwanda is the safest country in all of Africa and it is completely normal for there to be an eventual outburst of pent up energy. People cannot be pleasant and unemotional all the time, life is not life that.
So although I could worry and say that there were grenades thrown ten minutes away from where I live and freak out, I dnt think that there is really anything to be too worried about. I wont be walking through town alone and at night anymore (yes mum I have been up until now, and actually was walking right next to where the grenades went off a few hours later ☺ ☺ ) but I am not expecting another genocide to break out or anything even close that. One act of aggression in a country is normal throughout the entire world.
Sunday, 21 February 2010
Monday, 8 February 2010
Some thoughts
We have come to a time in our lives and in the world where it is literally impossible for us to just be. We have to be doing, to be moving forward, always to be looking at what the next step is: where can we network? what can we be doing now in order to get further ahead tomorrow? Our purpose in life has become completely controlled by what society is constantly screaming at us. These ideas of doing something, of making money, of moving forward with our careers, are a continuous chant of what we are expected to be. Why? Why do we constantly have to be doing solely for the sake of doing? We need to be living, to be experiencing every single thing that is around us right at that moment. Throwing yourself into every single thing you do no matter what it is and feeling it throughout every inch of your being. Your being. Being and knowing your being and realizing where you are and what you are. Knowing who you are, who your personality is, what you are giving and allowing yourself to give, what you’re feeling, and then allowing yourself to feel, to feel everything and anything around you. To escape the present moment while simultaneously being so in it that what is around you disappears.
Sitting at a hole in the wall bar in Kigali, Rwanda Alejandro and I could not stop. From one thing to the next, feeling so passionate about the words flowing out of our mouths we could not resist the conversation. Tingling with anger at society and with excitement over how we want to be; to do in order to be, not just do in order to do. The simple question of “What the hell are we doing here?” fueled our philosophies and everything that we were exuding in that moment.
He, having left a job that promised him ‘everything’, and I, having dropped out of college with only a vague idea of what I was being hired for, we each moved to Rwanda. We came walking through darkness with our eyes wide open; ready for anything and hoping for it all. Un-phased by how this could hurt us in the future, or if it was a mistake, or even about what would come next. Physically and mentally we had succumbed to the present.
Alejandro and I live a very different way than most people: looking at life as one big vacation, because quite honestly what else could this possibly be? We are miraculously given 70, 80, maybe 90 years in these vessels, these things that can feel and communicate and move on their own, where we can do absolutely anything we can dream of. The craziest thing we can possibly procure in our minds, we can go and actually do them. To get caught up in the commercial, in the corporate, in the insignificant world of social pressures and expectations is quite literally to turn down the opportunity of a lifetime.
The pressure to have that one moment that will change your life in today’s society is unrealistic. A single event or experience helps you to develop who you are and teaches you part of who you could become. I could choose one of the trips I have been on, or even more logically, the work I am doing now as a secondary school English teacher in Rwanda to share with you, but it would not be accurate. To talk about just one thing, just one moment that changed my life out of every single second of my life, would be insignificant. Every experience, every moment in my life, is what is helping me to mold this vessel and the being within me into how I want to spend my vacation. From basking in an amazing cup of coffee from a tiny vendor on the corner of Nyarutarama, to letting go on the back of a motorcycle ride through the hills of Gisenyi, feeling the hot African air securing you around every twist and turn, to standing on the edge of a bridge, a hand made chord tied around your ankles, your heart pounding within you, your toes hanging off the edge. Whatever it is, however extreme, however innocent, it is every moment in your life, if you realize it and if you can accept it, which is teaching you what is important. It is in these moments you realize you are prepared for everything that is going to be a part of your vacation.
Sitting at a hole in the wall bar in Kigali, Rwanda Alejandro and I could not stop. From one thing to the next, feeling so passionate about the words flowing out of our mouths we could not resist the conversation. Tingling with anger at society and with excitement over how we want to be; to do in order to be, not just do in order to do. The simple question of “What the hell are we doing here?” fueled our philosophies and everything that we were exuding in that moment.
He, having left a job that promised him ‘everything’, and I, having dropped out of college with only a vague idea of what I was being hired for, we each moved to Rwanda. We came walking through darkness with our eyes wide open; ready for anything and hoping for it all. Un-phased by how this could hurt us in the future, or if it was a mistake, or even about what would come next. Physically and mentally we had succumbed to the present.
Alejandro and I live a very different way than most people: looking at life as one big vacation, because quite honestly what else could this possibly be? We are miraculously given 70, 80, maybe 90 years in these vessels, these things that can feel and communicate and move on their own, where we can do absolutely anything we can dream of. The craziest thing we can possibly procure in our minds, we can go and actually do them. To get caught up in the commercial, in the corporate, in the insignificant world of social pressures and expectations is quite literally to turn down the opportunity of a lifetime.
The pressure to have that one moment that will change your life in today’s society is unrealistic. A single event or experience helps you to develop who you are and teaches you part of who you could become. I could choose one of the trips I have been on, or even more logically, the work I am doing now as a secondary school English teacher in Rwanda to share with you, but it would not be accurate. To talk about just one thing, just one moment that changed my life out of every single second of my life, would be insignificant. Every experience, every moment in my life, is what is helping me to mold this vessel and the being within me into how I want to spend my vacation. From basking in an amazing cup of coffee from a tiny vendor on the corner of Nyarutarama, to letting go on the back of a motorcycle ride through the hills of Gisenyi, feeling the hot African air securing you around every twist and turn, to standing on the edge of a bridge, a hand made chord tied around your ankles, your heart pounding within you, your toes hanging off the edge. Whatever it is, however extreme, however innocent, it is every moment in your life, if you realize it and if you can accept it, which is teaching you what is important. It is in these moments you realize you are prepared for everything that is going to be a part of your vacation.
Hi everyone,
Ashleigh sent me a whole bunch of questions after I sent out my first email and I just realized I never responded to her or to them. This is what she asked:
I remember asking Julianna this last year, and you might not have been there long enough to answer, but what differences can foreign aid make to countries like Rwanda? I mean, obviously sending supplies like paper for schools is something, but at what point do you think countries like the US should continue to intervene and when should they let foreign countries stand on their own and either make it or not? Although I guess "making it or not" is completely subjective to one's location: success here in the US is probably vastly different from the concept of "success" in other countries. I love reading your general observations about how things operate differently there, or how people react to their history (or perhaps don't react). I wonder why some cultures grab on to their genocides (ie Jews and the Holocaust) while others shy away (Anyone else and the Holocaust; any of the other genocides). It would be an interesting thing to study.
I guess I've never really asked you about this sort of thing before...sorry about that! I'm interested in your thoughts on that same subject (how effective foreign aid can be, and which forms are better (ie money vs supplies vs man-power)) in comparing the different countries you've worked in over the years. Do you think that individuals or foreign influence works when trying to, for example, stop a genocide, or recover an economy? When does it make sense for foreign powers to step in and when should a country try to stabilize on its own? I guess I wonder about the threat of imperialism and seeing as how, like with Rwanda, being a colony created such turmoil in the first place, do people want external help? Or do they resent having foreigners there teaching, etc? How do you feel you've been received, as a foreigner, an American, and as a white female?
I guess to start, I will first just say that I don't believe in ever just giving. This goes for home and abroad. In order to help anyone, it is vastly more effective to show them the tools of achieving what they need to survive. If I am to simply give a few quarters to someone for simply sitting on the street what is that teaching them? How is that helping them other than in that present moment? It is not going to make any difference except to alleviate a pang of hunger for maybe a few more hours. Maybe. I find myself sticking even more closely to this philosophy abroad. The sole affect that having white skin has on people from a different race, especially if they are poor, is universal. The immediate perception of a ‘muzungu’ is wealth and jobs. Why genetics plays such an integral role in our world is beyond me, but it always has and always will. Being that race and the above things should not go hand in hand, I try to do as little as possible to support this.
It's the small actions that are the ones to reinforce this misconception. For example, on our walk home about 5 mins from our house, there are always the same 3-4 boys who sit waiting for all the muzungus to either just give them money or buy them something from the corner store. Lauren, being the overly nice person that she is, gets sucked into this almost every time. I on the other hand, perceived as the bitch im sure, give them nothing. Instead, I have gone and sat with them, learned their names, where they live etc. They no longer see me as just that white person, but they are stating to see that I am an actually person as well. For them to understand that just because a person is a certain race does not mean that they are some abstract and foreign specimen. Creating the equal footing as much as you can is crucial.
And this is applicable in every case. Every race has misconceptions made and preconceived ideas about them, yet as soon as you stop seeing a person for what you think they are, and realizing that you are essentially the same person, your openness and your ability to see reality will become much greater.
Ashleigh asked, at what point do I think that the US and other foreign powers should stop intervening and let a country manage on its own. My answer to this is not applicable to everywhere and I would openly argue my own words in many situations, but one answer to this is sticking strictly to the government. There is no question that coming in and taking over again would be an unbelievably bad, and completely impossible, idea. And one of the largest issues here is corrupt government, and by here I mean Africa not Rwanda specifically. To intervene when a government is clearly working against its public, I believe is a responsibility of the international community. (ie Zimbabwe, Sudan, the Congo, you know just to name a few…)
Constantly giving and providing for countries that are struggling to make it on there own is not the answer though. Everyone has to learn how to support themselves eventually, every country has gone through it and every community will cntinue to go through as they establish themselves.
The question of external help and the attitudes people have towards us/them, I have found shifts deending on where you are, what youre doing and the attitude you yourself have. For example, when I was in Peru I worked primarily in Villa el Salvador at a day care center. Here I was treated comparatively well except for the fact that I was made to do all the work and the people actually getting paid sat around and ate the food that was meant for the children,…but that's another story. At the day care center I rarely felt unsafe or unwelcome. Yet when I went and worked at thehospital for disabled people, I was literally hiding under a blanket in the back of a car “just in case”. I later found out that this just in case blanket was a just in case one of the many many people who hate white people comes out and tries to kill you, if youre hiding under a blanket it is less likey to happen…
A big art of that is that there is just a very low percentage of white people, and there is a lot of hate towards them. Here in Rwanda, there is a larger muzungu community. A lot of people settle down here with families and no one wants to cause of problem, ever. Making a scene is not a question. It is simply something that you do not do. For the most part, when it comes to work at least, I am treated equally to everyone else. The students are more intimidated by the African teachers and the African teachers are paid about a 1/3 of what the paid white teachers make but you know, theres no racism or inequality. Everything is good…..
Ashleigh sent me a whole bunch of questions after I sent out my first email and I just realized I never responded to her or to them. This is what she asked:
I remember asking Julianna this last year, and you might not have been there long enough to answer, but what differences can foreign aid make to countries like Rwanda? I mean, obviously sending supplies like paper for schools is something, but at what point do you think countries like the US should continue to intervene and when should they let foreign countries stand on their own and either make it or not? Although I guess "making it or not" is completely subjective to one's location: success here in the US is probably vastly different from the concept of "success" in other countries. I love reading your general observations about how things operate differently there, or how people react to their history (or perhaps don't react). I wonder why some cultures grab on to their genocides (ie Jews and the Holocaust) while others shy away (Anyone else and the Holocaust; any of the other genocides). It would be an interesting thing to study.
I guess I've never really asked you about this sort of thing before...sorry about that! I'm interested in your thoughts on that same subject (how effective foreign aid can be, and which forms are better (ie money vs supplies vs man-power)) in comparing the different countries you've worked in over the years. Do you think that individuals or foreign influence works when trying to, for example, stop a genocide, or recover an economy? When does it make sense for foreign powers to step in and when should a country try to stabilize on its own? I guess I wonder about the threat of imperialism and seeing as how, like with Rwanda, being a colony created such turmoil in the first place, do people want external help? Or do they resent having foreigners there teaching, etc? How do you feel you've been received, as a foreigner, an American, and as a white female?
I guess to start, I will first just say that I don't believe in ever just giving. This goes for home and abroad. In order to help anyone, it is vastly more effective to show them the tools of achieving what they need to survive. If I am to simply give a few quarters to someone for simply sitting on the street what is that teaching them? How is that helping them other than in that present moment? It is not going to make any difference except to alleviate a pang of hunger for maybe a few more hours. Maybe. I find myself sticking even more closely to this philosophy abroad. The sole affect that having white skin has on people from a different race, especially if they are poor, is universal. The immediate perception of a ‘muzungu’ is wealth and jobs. Why genetics plays such an integral role in our world is beyond me, but it always has and always will. Being that race and the above things should not go hand in hand, I try to do as little as possible to support this.
It's the small actions that are the ones to reinforce this misconception. For example, on our walk home about 5 mins from our house, there are always the same 3-4 boys who sit waiting for all the muzungus to either just give them money or buy them something from the corner store. Lauren, being the overly nice person that she is, gets sucked into this almost every time. I on the other hand, perceived as the bitch im sure, give them nothing. Instead, I have gone and sat with them, learned their names, where they live etc. They no longer see me as just that white person, but they are stating to see that I am an actually person as well. For them to understand that just because a person is a certain race does not mean that they are some abstract and foreign specimen. Creating the equal footing as much as you can is crucial.
And this is applicable in every case. Every race has misconceptions made and preconceived ideas about them, yet as soon as you stop seeing a person for what you think they are, and realizing that you are essentially the same person, your openness and your ability to see reality will become much greater.
Ashleigh asked, at what point do I think that the US and other foreign powers should stop intervening and let a country manage on its own. My answer to this is not applicable to everywhere and I would openly argue my own words in many situations, but one answer to this is sticking strictly to the government. There is no question that coming in and taking over again would be an unbelievably bad, and completely impossible, idea. And one of the largest issues here is corrupt government, and by here I mean Africa not Rwanda specifically. To intervene when a government is clearly working against its public, I believe is a responsibility of the international community. (ie Zimbabwe, Sudan, the Congo, you know just to name a few…)
Constantly giving and providing for countries that are struggling to make it on there own is not the answer though. Everyone has to learn how to support themselves eventually, every country has gone through it and every community will cntinue to go through as they establish themselves.
The question of external help and the attitudes people have towards us/them, I have found shifts deending on where you are, what youre doing and the attitude you yourself have. For example, when I was in Peru I worked primarily in Villa el Salvador at a day care center. Here I was treated comparatively well except for the fact that I was made to do all the work and the people actually getting paid sat around and ate the food that was meant for the children,…but that's another story. At the day care center I rarely felt unsafe or unwelcome. Yet when I went and worked at thehospital for disabled people, I was literally hiding under a blanket in the back of a car “just in case”. I later found out that this just in case blanket was a just in case one of the many many people who hate white people comes out and tries to kill you, if youre hiding under a blanket it is less likey to happen…
A big art of that is that there is just a very low percentage of white people, and there is a lot of hate towards them. Here in Rwanda, there is a larger muzungu community. A lot of people settle down here with families and no one wants to cause of problem, ever. Making a scene is not a question. It is simply something that you do not do. For the most part, when it comes to work at least, I am treated equally to everyone else. The students are more intimidated by the African teachers and the African teachers are paid about a 1/3 of what the paid white teachers make but you know, theres no racism or inequality. Everything is good…..
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