We have come to a time in our lives and in the world where it is literally impossible for us to just be. We have to be doing, to be moving forward, always to be looking at what the next step is: where can we network? what can we be doing now in order to get further ahead tomorrow? Our purpose in life has become completely controlled by what society is constantly screaming at us. These ideas of doing something, of making money, of moving forward with our careers, are a continuous chant of what we are expected to be. Why? Why do we constantly have to be doing solely for the sake of doing? We need to be living, to be experiencing every single thing that is around us right at that moment. Throwing yourself into every single thing you do no matter what it is and feeling it throughout every inch of your being. Your being. Being and knowing your being and realizing where you are and what you are. Knowing who you are, who your personality is, what you are giving and allowing yourself to give, what you’re feeling, and then allowing yourself to feel, to feel everything and anything around you. To escape the present moment while simultaneously being so in it that what is around you disappears.
Sitting at a hole in the wall bar in Kigali, Rwanda Alejandro and I could not stop. From one thing to the next, feeling so passionate about the words flowing out of our mouths we could not resist the conversation. Tingling with anger at society and with excitement over how we want to be; to do in order to be, not just do in order to do. The simple question of “What the hell are we doing here?” fueled our philosophies and everything that we were exuding in that moment.
He, having left a job that promised him ‘everything’, and I, having dropped out of college with only a vague idea of what I was being hired for, we each moved to Rwanda. We came walking through darkness with our eyes wide open; ready for anything and hoping for it all. Un-phased by how this could hurt us in the future, or if it was a mistake, or even about what would come next. Physically and mentally we had succumbed to the present.
Alejandro and I live a very different way than most people: looking at life as one big vacation, because quite honestly what else could this possibly be? We are miraculously given 70, 80, maybe 90 years in these vessels, these things that can feel and communicate and move on their own, where we can do absolutely anything we can dream of. The craziest thing we can possibly procure in our minds, we can go and actually do them. To get caught up in the commercial, in the corporate, in the insignificant world of social pressures and expectations is quite literally to turn down the opportunity of a lifetime.
The pressure to have that one moment that will change your life in today’s society is unrealistic. A single event or experience helps you to develop who you are and teaches you part of who you could become. I could choose one of the trips I have been on, or even more logically, the work I am doing now as a secondary school English teacher in Rwanda to share with you, but it would not be accurate. To talk about just one thing, just one moment that changed my life out of every single second of my life, would be insignificant. Every experience, every moment in my life, is what is helping me to mold this vessel and the being within me into how I want to spend my vacation. From basking in an amazing cup of coffee from a tiny vendor on the corner of Nyarutarama, to letting go on the back of a motorcycle ride through the hills of Gisenyi, feeling the hot African air securing you around every twist and turn, to standing on the edge of a bridge, a hand made chord tied around your ankles, your heart pounding within you, your toes hanging off the edge. Whatever it is, however extreme, however innocent, it is every moment in your life, if you realize it and if you can accept it, which is teaching you what is important. It is in these moments you realize you are prepared for everything that is going to be a part of your vacation.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Is this your college essay? I really enjoyed reading it. I always knew you were a closet philosopher.
ReplyDelete"The craziest thing we can possibly procure in our minds, we can go and actually do them. To get caught up in the commercial, in the corporate, in the insignificant world of social pressures and expectations is quite literally to turn down the opportunity of a lifetime. "
That was my favorite part. I wholeheartedly agree that there's no reason our individual lives should have to follow a path set up by others, by an institution, or by what we think we "ought" to do. It's a shame that we are born into societies where what we should become is already decided, true more for developing countries than for us in the U.S,, although we are still pressured to do certain things. At least when we realize, like you, that we don't want to, we have the privilege to make a change. Not everyone has that.
"opportunity of a LIFETIME" I loved that. I just keep reading it. Our lifetimes are an opportunity to LIVE. Our whole lives are an opportunity, like you said, there's not just one moment within it that we must recognize to succeed.
Okay I basically just repeated all of your thoughts in my own words but I just needed to respond to your thoughts because they were swimming in my head.